Oh naive little me...

Cheating...

What is my problem with cheating? Well nothing. Cheating is an art of highest order, may be even more nuanced than the over rated originality. But yes I’ve my set of issues with the cheaters. What’s your problem but, is it that they are cheating and topping the flock and you doing the same yet at the bottom rung? That’s not my problem, not at least the core of it, as I respect that they have achieved high level of sophistication in the art of cheating. My problem is very naive actually, my problem is with those cheaters who cheat but pretend that they don’t, and have an air about their superiority and innocence even if it all apparent that they do what they do to secure what they have. Well I’m not talking about the masters of the art of cheating who are so good that they are fucking original, but those lame soul who are better than average in the art but poor at the critical skill of concealment. That’s all that is my problem, I hate people who try to project that they are righteous but its world known that they aren’t. Ok if not world known, it is known to me. I can’t stand such cheaters.

But the world is full of this brand of cheaters, and there is no get away. So I’m trying my best to accept this and live with them. I’m trying. In the end I would like to add and clear out that I’m no angel myself, even I cheat, and am very bad at the most aspect of the art, but unmatched in some rare others.

lol

Democracy – unity or diversity

I’m not well read or walk in the circles of intelligentsia or political gurus. I don’t have much interest in politics nor do I study legal or political science. But I believe all these shortcomings hold nothing against me in sizing an opinion about the greatest democracy of current human civilization. A system or notion which embodies my home India. A land so diverse that even the great geologists (or whatever they are called) decided to term it as a sub-continent instead of a region. What do I make of it?

Today’s India is not natural or geographical country, but is a legacy left behind by the British. Throughout my schooling, the whole history taught to me never mentioned a kingdom of India. It was always a cluster of kingdoms, independent and fighting. It painted a picture much like the tale of European kingdoms then Greek islands.  Be it Asoka, Akbar, Aurangzeb or Victoria no one had full control of the land now recognized as the republic of India. And mind it no fifth person held more land then these four in the recorded history of my school text books.

India today is product of a movement called Congress Party. Yes I hold accountable this party not only for the partition of India in 1947, but also the creation of this uniquely kitsch nation. Unity in diversity, a very heartwarming slogan. And yes the base of this unity our democracy. Well apparent democracy.

Let’s take the word itself, if I click the synonyms on the ms word for democracy I get words like: social equality, equality, egalitarianism, classlessness. But I clearly remember being told democracy means majority. If you have the number you have it your way. And that’s how it seems to have been working, absolutely my personal perspective as told earlier I’m not literate enough to quote statesmen. Living as long as I’ve lived my education and experience begs to question this notion of democracy. I feel a true democracy is a system where everyone gets their say, no matter correct or wrong, left or right, big or small, majority or minority. I refuse to buy the herd mentality crap.

I don’t know who but I did read or listened somewhere that the need for law in democracy is to protect the individual from the collective, the minority from the majority. And of course my favorite, the powerless from the powerful.  Having said all this I would like to point out that India as it exists today is not only unique, diverse but misunderstood and misguided. But yes totally human.

Human in behavior and aspiration. And I don’t mean this in positive fashion. The aspiration for power and superiority which can be seen in accretion of Hindi as langua franca of India, or forced claim over a piece of land but rejection of its natives. Very human behavior very basic and animal in its origin. Nothing has changed, muscle power of past has been replaced by majority power of today.

What fails me is this, after claiming so much advancement as a species and having such high moral stands for other nations, why haven’t we come to term with our identity. I believe India is an illusion, sorry let me rephrase, India is a spirit and nothing more than that. A spirit which has no historic, ethnic or cultural background, just emotional and economic residue-legacy.  We can’t fit the definition of a nation-state which roots in Europe. We need to be Europe in our outlook and structure rather than France. Every community granted its identity and every tongue its honour. I call for greater autonomy for all under the economic and defense canopy of union of India.

I speak hindi and we (hindi tongued) are more in number doesn’t give us the claim to the right to be the national language. Why do we need a single language? I know it makes for a lot easier life, but our forefather’s didn’t fight to have an easier life but a respectable one. 

India – lets honour her diversity.

fear- strange or estrange

Fear…

People are afraid. I’m afraid. There is some thrill in fear which compels us to want to be afraid. It’s simply human to be afraid. The heavy beating of heart, the numbness of arms, the uneasy calm comes from somewhere inside. It’s a desire to be safe, a yearning to be there with known face. Yes, choice is the fear.

There’s this song ‘people are strange when you are a stranger, faces look ugly when you are alone’, I don’t understand why but it moves me every time I listen to it. Is it something about strangers which induces fear, or is it just the notion of being a stranger? I think the latter. A gazeful eye, a humming whisper, a seamless smile or a cheerful anger all seems to be directed at you when a stranger. Strange as it may seem no one wants to be a stranger. We all seek notices, we wait umpteen spans, we write, we draw, we sing, at the end we all are flawed, afraid of being lonely and unimportant.

Do you ever feel a rush stepping out of your house, doing things you want to without weighing out the logic? A part of me never wants to leave. A part of me has never left. The premises of my home, the loot of my friends, the company of a fellow stranger, the presence of acquaintances. I linger in those frames still wondering if I hadn’t left. Passé estranged.

No one was gonna eat me up if had decided to stay back, I always wanted to, no one would. But I made my choice and did what was done. I moved away or they, we all left the lumps of goodbyes and the troubling fear of did we made the right choice. Reason helped us out, but that’s never enough, time is needed to wash down the effect of biding adieu.

I don’t like it here, I can’t stand these people, and I wish I could die. But when come the moment comes of libration from all these, some part of me rebels out, seeking solace in times gone by. I fear things will change, I fear aging, I fear of never being the same. You tend to love whatever you are, ugly as it may be, even that pain contributed in making of you. I would like to meet again; surely I would, but then kicks in the fear that this reunion may kill all the images so dear to heart. I fear reunions but the rush is worth a shot.

I wouldn’t have left, and met you, if I wasn’t thrilled by the fear of unknown. It may be different for you but nothings like knowing the choice to stay back and yet deciding to reason strange. Nobody remembers your name, you are strange. Faces come out of the rain…

I want to meet people.